Stray Cat Strut

Che awoke with Kunai sleeping on his feet. Kunai was heavier than Che; it took some time to get his blood flowing again. Having an assassin sleep on your toes could give you cold feet in more ways than one, but Che ignored it. Kunai slept like the dead in any case.

It was several weeks and quite a few robberies later. Much to Che's surprise, Bear had not forced the issue. He nagged, of course, and used arguments that made perfect sense yet did not apply to Che's motives. But he hadn't threatened to leave him stranded or sic the cat on him. Not that Che thought he would, but that was the point of threats, to avoid drastic action.

They played chess over breakfast. Kunai came in yawning mid-game and demanding food.

"Checkmate."

Bear looked like a teddy bear and talked like a grizzly. When he responded, it was with a voice bigger than his entire body. "Aren't you forgetting about my rook?"

"What rook?" said Che with faux innocence. As Bear looked down to find the piece missing, his thoughts, just for an instant, became completely visible. His eyes jumped back and forth backwards through the moves of the game, far faster than was fair, his stubby arm underlining the moves as he read the board like a lesser man would read a book. It took a matter of seconds; Che had only just pushed back his chair and lazily started to stand as Bear's deep voice cut in accusingly.

"Che, you stole my rook!"

"Well, of course I did." As Bear started to protest, Che held up a gloved hand. "You were trying to prove to me that I will eventually be caught," Che's finger rested on the top of his king. "So I should just give up and go home, right? But your analogy is false. You expected me to play by the rules. I never play by the rules."

Not to mention, any borrosan who was bold enough to venture off their home planet was too bold to be talked out of anything. Bear couldn't know that, of course. Just like his argument about the pointlessness of multiversal theft. Che could, if he so wanted, run off to some place where gold was worth less than dirt and have all he wanted. There was no reason to steal things people actually wanted.

Except that that was the point, just one Bear couldn't understand.

They arrived in a new dimension. The Brinkmanship was a pirate's ship, full of style, with a figurehead and a jolly roger and sails that served little purpose. It seared through the atmosphere, its usually translucent shielding glowing red, and then eased its way to the ground. It landed amidst a sea of light which broke in waves and flew away before it. Lightning bugs with bulbs as big as fists scattered in all directions and settled on the hull of the ship, blinking on and off.

Che glanced at the ship's screen, "About a thousand years behind Aguedo, resources--"

"You're using my stolen technology to travel, you don't need to use it to find more things to steal."

"Fine, fine." Che set the multinet aside and sauntered out onto the deck, eying the gigantic insects. He looked away; it was obvious to him why they were normally too small to make out the details.

The ship finished its routine. "Environmental quality confirmed. Shields down."

It rained fireflies for a moment before the insects that had been resting on the shields had the sense to fly away. Che stepped off the ship and into the night. Bear followed, held in Kunai's arms but still barely high enough to see over the long grass. In the near distance stood dark woods, in the far distance, bare wire towers tall enough to be holding up the sky.

"Hard to believe this place is civilized." said Che. There were worlds that reached technological heights without touching upon quantum computers. This was obviously not one of them.

Bear shrugged. Che wondered if he was sulking, but it was impossible to tell with Bear.

Che pulled a pair of binoculars from Wrist--what he had nicknamed the prototype pocket universe--which he still had strapped to his arm. He wasn't clear on how Wrist worked, but it was perfect for holding stolen items, tuna and soda pop.

Scrutinizing the horizon, he spotted some lights that didn't seem to be blinking and just might not be bugs. He told the ship to secure itself and headed off in that direction, genius and assassin in tow.

The fields and then the woods retreated before them. The light was coming from within a hill, within a cave. They scaled it wordlessly, Bear wondering if the people here lived underground. It would explain the deserted surface.

They stepped within the cave and were momentarily blinded.

Che's species was very quick and very fragile. From his perspective, foreigners moved as though through invisible molasses. Any of the people Che met could break his arm in half with their bare hands, he said, but would never have the chance.

Che was always relaxed because they'd have to catch him first, and nothing could catch him.

Nonetheless, Bear saw Che's ever-smiling expression change when he saw the robes and sigils. Che had skirted past the last magician with every appearance of self confidence, but still, his grin had grown sharper than usual, and his ears ticked back.

"Hel-lo," said Che, as someone stood to greet them. The man was in one long black cloak, face completely shadowed and figure deformed. Were this a horror movie, he would pull back that hood to reveal the greasy skull of Death.

Kunai crouched defensively. The veiled figure had swept a chill after him as though he were wearing it for a second cloak. There was an air of concentration sharp enough to prick, there. The other magicians had their eyes on him; they were attentive and carefully placed. The entranceway had miraculously dried up behind them, leaving them enclosed in solid rock.

The figure's eyes swept over them and settled on Bear.

"Bear Schwartzsfend? Is that you?"

"Do I know you?"

"No, you wouldn't." The figure went silent.

Bear coughed. "Is there some reason you locked the door behind us?"

"I want to talk to you."

"There some reason you can't do that with the door open?" Che interjected. The hesitant silences were taking the edge off his grin.

The figure glanced at Che, as if noticing him for the first time. "Well, you'd run off with everything I own, for one."

Che smiled at that.

"What do you want to talk about?" Bear remained guarded. He trusted Kunai's instincts, and Kunai was tense.

The figure sighed. "Everything. How can you be you and not be arrogant? Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely, so why are you not...?"

"I don't think I understand the question."

The cloak gave an odd, derisive, fake laugh at that.

"I'm asking you, you can do anything, so why are you helping others?" The arm of the robe gestured violently at Che. "Why do you put up with him?"

"What else would you have me do?"

"You're the one who's supposed to know that!"

The enclosed air rang with the echoes of the shout for a moment.

Che examined the area around the exit. "You know, perhaps you could just write up a list and get back to us? You seem a bit confused. Incidentally, are there any items of intense value nearby?"

"Even now, you're only focused on stealing things." The figure's voiced rang with disgust.

Che considered this. "Well, I am a thief. And a bit of a workaholic." Che's eyes flitted to the figure and his thoughts became transparent.

Not to mention, you're turning out to be not all that interesting.

Bear wondered whether the figure could read that expression as well, and interrupted in case he could.

"Let's try this again. What's your name?"

"Suk Klohe." He was still staring at Che and radiating anger.

"And what would you like to ask me?"

After a moment of hesitation, he discarded Che in favor of another long pause.

"What it all means would be a good start."

Che snorted.

Bear talked quickly to take Suk Klohe's eyes off Che again. "If you want the meaning of life, you're going to get it in the form of a thousand line equation."

"You'd still be the only one to come up with an answer." Suk Klohe said, "You're the closest thing we have to a prophet."

"I'm just a physicist," Bear said, "An inventor. I can tell you about computers and quantum and that's about it."

"'That's it?'" he repeated.

"There are more important things," said Bear, "But if you don't have those sorts of questions..."

Bear put an arm up against Kunai's chest to silently restrain him. From the rumbling of his chest, if Kunai had a voice, it'd be growling. Maybe it was because they were magicians. Maybe it was because they were trapped. But he was nearly bent double and ready to drop Bear to the floor and attack.

It seems Suk Klohe had finally noticed this, because he slipped a wand out of the sleeve of his robe.

Bear was dropped. He looked up in time to see Kunai meet the rising army with a patented dance of well-placed force. Wands appeared just in time for Che to slip them out of their owners' hands.

The fight was a blur of figures and motion, incomprehensible from floor level. Kunai hardly had to attack; after tossing a few people aside the rest gave him room. Che wove in and out of the crowd, breaking wands as he did, taking a disjointed path towards the cloaked figure who stood apart. Suk Klohe hardly seemed aware of the chaos around him, although perhaps that was due to the shadows obscuring his face. Before Che could reach him, a grey hand appeared from within the folds of cloth and somehow caught ahold of Kunai's neck, lifting the slim boy off of the ground.

Bear leapt forward, "Kunai!"

He hung without response. He didn't even raise a hand to support his weight.

"I know this curse," Suk Klohe said, eyes on the collar 'round Kunai's neck. It was simple, black and unremarkable, but Bear had not been able to remove it.

Suk Klohe began to chant.

"Che, do something!" Bear reached behind his back, thinking of various inventions--but the prototype was on Che's wrist now, not his back. He lost sight of both Che and Kunai as hands laid upon him, and he was roughly pushed into a birdcage. He shook this off as a mere distraction and peered through the crowd, trying to catch sight of them.

Suk Klohe lowered Kunai to the ground. Dangling doll-like from the grey hand, Kunai seemed like he would collapse; instead he stood upright like a wooden soldier.

"A fine bit of magic," said Suk Klohe, nodding to himself, "I'm almost impressed."

Bear shouted, "Kunai beat that the last time."

"Not this time," Suk Klohe turned to Kunai, ordered him. "Round up the other one."

Kunai's head whipped around towards the last free man.

"Found it!" Che was standing before a wide open door, black on black. "Knew there had to be a way out somewhere."
Bear's better nature fought with his brain for a moment.

"Please tell me he's not going to--" Bear slapped a paw to his face. Che had disappeared cleanly into the night.

Suk Klohe swept his arm towards the gap. "Bring me the device."

Kunai raced forward, ignoring Bear's shouts for attention as though deaf as well as dumb. Suk Klohe waved his men away, leaving Bear to face him alone. He remained silent; fortunate, since it would be hard for Bear to hear over the grinding of his mental gears. The back of his mind was planning for every eventuality, a thousand steps ahead.

But this man probably didn't play by the rules any more than Che did.

Bear sat down and scratched lazily behind an ear while Suk Klohe stared. At least, it seemed so. His face was lost somewhere within that void. But he was motionless, and in that blackness there was something taut as wire and losing patience.

Bear sighed. "You researched us, planned an attack, planted information on the multinet to get this place high on the list of hospitable planets, then laid in wait."

Suk Klohe stared for another moment, then withdrew.

"You're so far above us, why do you squander your attention?"

"My creations are my responsibility." It was so hard to get people to understand that. "What I do with my life is my choice."

The cloth shook itself and turned away. Bear could only just make out the whispered response.

"Not anymore."

Kunai stepped into the dark, silhouetted against the light within. His head jerked from side to side in odd, slippery movements as he stepped forward. His manner was completely changed from the boyish innocence that so easily fooled Bear. No more did he seem the house cat that slips off tables and chases dust bunnies; he taken on the skin of a leopard. Each movement was deceptive; without appearing to move through the intervening space his hand was now at his sunglasses, pulling them down over his small nose.

The light caught him straight on. Che could see pupils contract in red eyes before the boy went down, tears streaming.

Che lowered the flashlight. "Sorry." Then he was off, into the haunted woods.

The ground was ankle-deep with leaves; there was no chance of Kunai missing his trail. Speed was vital, yet he weaved through the trees, his path forced aside a hundred times before the land turned downhill. Che pulled a wide disc from Wrist, jumped on it and crouched as it sped down. Branches lashed at his face and arms, but this was much faster. He had to beat Kunai back to the ship.

Whump.

Che didn't want to turn around, but there is no delaying the inevitable. Nor is it a good idea to keep a ninja at your back.

"I did say I was sorr--"

Kunai grabbed for him and, unbalanced, he and Che and the disc all went tumbling. Che's heart and breath froze for an instant. It was so easy to break something and so easy to die with a broken limb. But he was lucky, he hit nothing, so he was upright as soon as he was down.

The forest left him surrounded by dark figures with hundreds of limbs and fingers, all outstretched. No sign of Kunai. He twisted around, trying to keep 360 degrees of vision at all times. At this rate, he was going to wear down.

Moonlight flashed off a metallic surface to his right. Che caught the dagger perfectly, and once you knew where he was, the rest was cake. Speaking of which, he could really use some sugar right now. Oh well.

More daggers followed the first, all deadly sharp, all deftly received. A shadow separated itself from a tree and approached him, circling him in a way usually seen in sharks. Che smiled and displayed the daggers he'd caught, one at each knuckle.

"You know," Che glanced down at them, eyebrows raised, "you're lucky I'm a gentleman."

Kunai lunged. The shadows convulsed in a momentary, frantic dance. When they halted, Che was flat on his back, his right arm caught in a vice grip. Kunai crouched over him, with Che's left fist--

Che's eyes widened. "You ... stupid ..."

He yelped. Everything went dark.

Bear was staring at the door, eyes unblinking, so he was the first to see Kunai stumble out of the night. The boy was clutching his side, doubled over, Wrist in one loose hand. He fell to his knees halfway across the room. Suk Klohe approached him, and he held up the device in trembling fingers.

Suk Klohe took it. "Where is he?"

Kunai fell forward, almost onto Suk Klohe's feet. The magician gestured for assistance.

"I didn't tell you to kill him! Or get yourself killed."

"Kunai..." Bear pressed against the edge of the cage as they dragged him away. "You didn't."

"Clean up this blood, too." He sounded irritated now. Distantly, Bear was aware that Suk Klohe was short of hostages. But Kunai wouldn't kill. When he was in the hands of Rueben he was ordered to do so, yet he had contrived to avoid it.

He was good at it. Che had to be alive.

Bear snapped out of his thoughts. Suk Klohe sat, obviously also immersed in contemplation. The cloth around his head moved slightly, and Bear guessed that he was looking up.

He tossed Wrist down next to Bear's cage. The cloth danced around him as he turned and left Bear alone with only the minor magicians and his thoughts.

Witches and goblins and ghouls of all kinds,

reading my mind, singing to me.

Sifting my thoughts for all of the fears

that bring me to tears, won't let me be.

It was still night. What had seemed like hours had been but minutes. Suk Klohe approached the ship alone, singing. There was a story behind that song; it was the first song many a child had heard. A comfort and a threat, all in one. Fear the darkness, the unknown; stay home, stay safe.

The sea of fireflies was calming and the song fit them, somber yet shining, a wistful lullaby weaving, flitting before the encroaching magicians. As children they had chased these brilliant points of light, too big for bottles and too small to ride. A simple wave of an arm and one was cupped in his hands, carried upwards to the gap before his face.

It lit for a moment, illuminating his grey-furred face, leaving spots in his wide eyes. Then it flew away and joined its brethren.

"Professor! This way." Alers was trying to get his attention. The Brinkmanship was here, modest in size but far more than three people needed. Poking the air around it elicited ripples in the air and warning remarks from the ship's computer.

"You are not a resident," it said.

Alers grinned weakly. "I'm a friend of theirs."

"What do I look like, an abacus?"

"You're reported as stolen," said Suk Klohe, ignoring the others poking at the shields.

"Quit it, I'm recording you," it said, "I was stolen by pirates. My current owner is legitimate. If you persist, I will alert the authorities."

"I don't think your 'owner' would like that." said Suk Klohe.

Alers grumbled. "Damn thing."

"I heard that. I'll report you."

"Leave it."

"But, Klohe..."

"We have the multiverse's greatest super genius."

"Yes, but," the magician hesitated, "That's more dangerous than nothing, isn't it?"

Suk Klohe ignored him, turning back the way they had come. His motions were aggravated, his sober mood flown with the fireflies.

Bear tapped a few more keys and pressed enter.

"There you go,"

"It works? Yes!" The young magician, who had misspelled his occupation on his hat, gaped at the screen. "I haven't been able to get my mail for weeks! I love you!"

"Joy."

Bear hopped off the desk and left the magician to the laborious task of deleting his unwanted mail. The door had sealed itself up as though it had never been there. He could only presume that one of the magicians had failed to close the door completely behind them before; it fit Che's irksome luck.

His guard now distracted, Bear mentally cataloged Wrist's contents. There had to be something that could get through a simple door. It was likely that Che had added things without Bear's knowledge, of course, so Bear reached into Wrist in mind to pull out anything he didn't know about.

It turned out to be quite a lot, but Che himself dwarfed the rest of the pile.

Che mumbled something, his smile conspicuously absent. He rubbed his head and rolled over onto his feet, wobbling. He was covered with scratches, and he'd lost his bandanna somewhere, leaving his eyes partially obscured by brown, ragged bangs.

"Ch--!" Bear bit down on his own exclamation and quickly glanced at the magician. He seemed not to have noticed. When Bear turned back, Che was downing a six-pack of Disco Cola.

Bear lowered his voice. "Che, we have to get out of here and help Kunai."

Che's half-lidded eyes managed to focus on Bear for the first time. He looked around (or at least, his head blurred, which Bear assumed meant he was looking around) and then went back to his soda pop. Having finished the can, Che reached into Wrist, pulled out a rope, tied up the magician and returned for a second six-pack, in less time than it would have taken Bear to scold him.

"Eh? Er..." The bemused magician struggled for a moment, then kicked off a shoe and began deleting spam with his toes.

"Are you listening?"

"Why should I help him?" Che sounded more agitated than Bear had ever heard him; Che was never discomposed, but now his fur was ruffled and his ears down and back. "He nearly killed me and threw me in that thing which might as well be a sensory deprivation chamber for all the--" Che went on for half a minute more, too fast to be comprehensible. "--not to mention I nearly starved!"

"In an hour?"

"I have a quick metababism. Metabarism. Metabawhatsis." He downed another soda.

"Kunai probably saved your life by hiding you there," said Bear, "And what happened to him?"

"Him? Well, he--" Che fumbled on this point and gathered himself up again. "It's not my fault."

"Yes, I know, nothing is ever your fault."

"This really isn't. He jumped at me--" Che halted at Bear's expression. "It isn't."

"Mmmhmm."

"Besides, he's probably bled out already." Che was gesturing wildly and at speed, which made him hard to watch. "And he's under that magician-person's control. He nearly killed me before I stabbed him--NOT that I stabbed him or anything."

Bear had yet to blink.

"I mean it!" Che attempted to stare Bear down and failed immediately. "Oh, fine. Let's go. Have to at least get out of here before the walking wall-hanging returns."

Che slipped Wrist back over his arm and picked up Bear, making his way to the door and opening it by the manipulation of a device not visible from the ground.

Bear had the feeling things would be so much easier if he were still in his original body--the one much bigger than Che or Kunai--and said as much.

"Now, that one really isn't my fault," said Che, "You were little when I met you."

Despite having a mind that was several thousand steps ahead of everyone else, Bear was always two steps behind Che. Not only did he have the wrong sort of mind for deceit and crime, but Che's movements themselves were hard to track. Magicians appeared and disappeared like, well, magic. They never had a chance to spot him first, and even Bear's sharp observational skills had only just begun to pick up the change to a more sterile, clinical environment when they arrived at Kunai's bedside.

Kunai, pale under normal circumstances, was literally whiter than the sheets tucked around him. Che left Bear on the bed momentarily to demonstrate a few knots to the magician medic, but Kunai did not react to the extra weight, nor to Bear's cursory examination of his temperature, breath and pulse.

"Well?" said Che, ignoring the protests of bound figure beside him.

Bear narrowed his eyes. His breath was steady, as was his pulse, but there was little Bear could tell besides that. To get him treated properly, they would have to get him back to the ship. But that was not surprising.

"Escaped?"

Neither was that. Something about that voice--like Che's--promised to turn up when you least wanted to hear it.

Bear turned to face Suk Klohe expressionlessly. "You're going to undo whatever's been done to Kunai, and you're going to let us leave."

Suk Klohe took this without surprise, but glanced at Che.

"Frankly, he doesn't even like me," said Che, holding up his hands placatingly, "I'm sure any effort would be rather wasted."

Bear ignored both of them in favor of pulling out a screwdriver and fiddling with Wrist's underside.

"You have a statistically infinitesimal chance of outsmarting me," Bear said. He'd never bragged in his life and could only hope it sounded intimidating.

"Isn't that rather generous?" said Che.

Suk Klohe glanced at Wrist and waved an arm in their direction, but seemed unsurprised when nothing happened.

"Knowledge is power," said Bear, "Trite, but true. I defeated Rueben, as you know."

"Yes, a person looking very much like an elephant sat on him so we could get him into a cell," said Che, "You don't want to wind up like that, do you, hmmm? All flat?"

"Undo this spell," Bear said, "And we'll be going."

This tactic had a good chance of not working; it wouldn't work on Che, Bear knew. But he never would have tried it on him. Morality was black and white, but whether it was black or whether it was white changed with each circumstance. Che seemed to realize this and danced always upon the white side, but Suk Klohe had unknowingly stepped completely over grey and into the abyss.

Suk Klohe stared him down for a moment, his fellow magicians tugging at his sleeves.

"...Fine."

That was not a sign of victory. Bear had basically demanded to hand Suk Klohe a potential hostage. Che gave Bear an "I'm reconsidering your super genius status" look for it. But Bear did have a back up plan. Well, twenty-two back up plans and possibly others, to be precise.

Still, getting Kunai pushed over to the magicians took negotiations of cold war proportions. Suk Klohe waved a hand over him and, thankfully, returned him, without apparent change. It was over unexpectedly quickly, though the tension only grew.

"That was anticlimactic," said Che, "But a climax would no doubt include my being beaten up, so I'm fine with this."

"Carry him."

Che looked over at Kunai's bloody-bandaged middle. "Ew."

"Do it."

Tentatively, Che complied, and without further complaint. Kunai hung limply from his arms. Holding him, Che was bowed and slowed so much that Bear had no trouble keeping up with him.

It was a long walk to get under open skies again, and an even longer walk through the woods and the plains, strange half-heard lullabies floating after them.

Come little children, don't be led astray

Into the world nostalgic.

Now little children, I'll tell you the way.

The real world has much better magic.

The computer lowered the shields. "Some very rude people were bothering me."

"I know. Call Fox."

Che panted a bit as he laid Kunai down on a table. He ran off before Bear could stop him.

The computer hummed to itself for a moment. "Fox isn't home."

"Check my house," said Bear.

Another moment and a face appeared. It was not one Bear recognized, but he assumed it to be Fox. He changed bodies as often as some people did clothes.

"Bear! You're all right!" Fox was lost to view as he jumped about in his excitement. "Where do I live again?"

"Kunai's been hurt."

"I'm not a doctor. I mean, I am, but not that kind--"

Bear's voice took on a growl as spoke rapidly. "You examined him, you're the only one who knows how his body works."

"Thing is, I don't know how his body works. He shouldn't be able to..." Fox put up his hands to fend of Bear's irritation. "What are his injuries?"

"They're ..." Bear looked around rapidly. "Che! Che!"

"Yes?"

Bear jumped at the sudden voice. "Try to help."

"Had to use the facilities. I'm sure I'm sorry."

Fox interjected, "Injuries?"

"Er ... stab wound to the stomach." Che glanced down at him. "Probably multiple."

"Let me see."

Looking the other way, Che maneuvered the camera. Bear pulled back the hasty bandages.

"That's nasty," said Fox.

"That's what I said," said Che.

"It's just asking for an infection." Fox peered down at him. "Back here we'd just transmogrify him, but..."

Fox walked Bear through the treatment while Che nursed a soda. Putting people back together was considerably different from putting machines together, but the skill sets seemed to overlap. Eventually Kunai was rebandaged.

Che glanced at the neat, mechanical handiwork. "Are you sure you're not a robot?"

"It would explain why he only calls when he needs something," said Fox.

Bear put a paw to Kunai's forehead. He seemed warm enough. More importantly, the ship hadn't gone into emergency mode. It, at least, thought Kunai was healthy.

Then again, it was Che's ship. It was wired for a species with a constant rapid heart rate and a hummingbird metabolism. Bear and Kunai might be off its scales.

Bear said, "562 East Havens."

Fox gave him a blank look.

"...is where you live," Bear kneaded his temple. "Write that down."

Che raised an eyebrow. "You're trusting this fellow with the kitty's life?"

"Yes."

"And trusting our lives to that magician?" Che scrutinized Kunai's sleeping face. "How do you know he's not going to wake up a homicidal maniac?"

"I don't, but I can deal with that," Bear picked up Wrist by way of explanation. Che stared at him. Bear sighed. Another attempt to forestall conversation foiled. "You know how this works?"

"I have no idea," said Che, "I never bother trying to understand how you do anything."

That explained a lot.

"It links to another dimension which holds a filing system. I increased the surface area of the link, converting it to a temporary shield." Bear made his way to the main console and hooked the device to it. "It'll need to recharge."

"Ah, clever clever. And now? Wave a mackerel under his nose?"

"Kunai will wake up when he's ready," said Bear.

Fox was still examining the sleeping form. "His readouts are all good. I think he'll be all right."

Bear waited by Kunai's side while Che showered, brushed his teeth and went to bed. Fox talked at Bear while he waited, bringing him up to speed on hundreds of rumors that he didn't care about. How Fox remembered the details of all these scandals but couldn't remember his own phone number, Bear had no idea. Granted, all the stories involved people like "that guy, you know, the one with the hair?"

By dawn, even Fox's soap operatic stories and ramblings about his new body had worn out.

"We've all been really worried about you, you know," Fox said.

"Without reason."

"You can be very dumb about some things."

Bear gave him a look.

"It's dangerous out there." Fox waved a hand. "Some of the things going on are incomprehensible. You're running around with a thief."

Bear looked away. "Since when are you the responsible one?"

"Someone has to be."

"I'm taking responsibility for my inventions."

"Losing them isn't as important as losing you." Fox was gesturing with his entire arm now. "The whole planet wants you back. They're calling you a 'national resource.' You're thinking as an individual."

"My intelligence isn't something I owe anyone to use. But I am accountable for my actions."

"You're so stubborn." Fox wrinkled his nose. "Are you at least remembering to eat?"

"Yes."

After that, Fox fell silent. The gray morning grew yellow, and Che appeared, searching for sugar. He glanced at the reverent silence around the two and decided to forgo chitchat in favor of a bowl of cereal in front of the computer. For lack of anything else to do or say, they watched him.

"...how can you eat that without milk?" Fox said.

"Do you know where milk comes from? Milk comes from mammals."

Fox looked annoyed. "I am a biologist."

"And I'm a herbivore." Che pointed to the screen. "Suk Klohe, Professor of Slood Dynamics at A Verbis Ad Verbera. That's what he looks like. Eyes large as Kunai's and fuzzy long ears."

"How cute!" said Fox, and it was sadly true. Suk Klohe had the sort of face put on vegetarian banners to promote animal welfare. "Do you think I could pull off those ears?"

"Better than he can."

"They're almost as long as Bear's."

Che stifled a laugh at the admiring tone in Fox's voice.

"I need sleep," said Fox, "Bear, what's my address again?"

"I told you to write it down."

"I lost it."

Bear recited it again while Che turned from his research to his mail. Unlike Bear, he wrote home once a week, including a picture to prove his health. They were long letters.

After looking over Bear's directions, Fox decided this was a little too complicated to deal with at the moment and went off to sleep in Bear's bed. "It's like new anyway," he said.

Che cocked an ear to the exchange, turning away from his absurdly rapid typing once Fox had gone. "Why is it that you have so much faith in him?"

"He's an expert."

"He's a ditz."

"He knows biology better than anyone. He can dream up creatures out of nowhere and have them work."

Che raised his other eyebrow to match the first. "Do you belong to a super genius club or something?"

"There is a Mad Scientist Guild, but I'm not a member."

"You're joking."

"A lot of smart people have problems with little things like putting their buttons through the right holes," said Bear, his eyes still on Kunai and his mouth on auto-pilot, "Fox was normal before he ran out of room in his head for anything besides Biology."

"So he's an old chum?"

"College roommate," said Bear, "We did our senior thesis together."

Che's ears perked at that. "Thesis?"

"The Quantum Brain."

"A type of computer?"

"A type of brain." Che wasn't going to leave it at that, nor would he succumb to requests to look the phrase up himself, even with the multinet right before him. "Do you know how a quantum computer works?"

"Er, in general? It calculates using other versions of its own molecules in other universes or something." Che tilted his head back, as though he weren't that sure of what he himself had just said. "Right?"

"About. A quantum brain is to a normal brain what a quantum computer is to a non-quantum computer."

Che stared.

"Specifically, it's my brain."

Bear tired of Che staring at him and turned back to review Kunai's status again.

"I'm sorry, your what? Your brain ... thinks using other potential yous' brains?"

Bear nodded. "Couldn't have done this all otherwise. Too many variables."

"How?"

"That's a good question. I took care of the quantum, and Fox took care of the biology," said Bear, "Unfortunately, he doesn't remember exactly what he did."

Che gave that a wry grin. "And neither do you?"

"I didn't have a photographic memory before the operation." Bear shrugged it off as inconsequential. "Besides, biology is too complicated."

"For you?" Che seemed both disbelieving and delighted at the concept.

"I can't do everything."

"You can just tinker with the fabric of space and reality?"

Bear shrugged this off as well. Che leaned into his hand, apparently recovering over the need to be a smart alec.

"What's different?"

Bear gave this some consideration, since the real answer was "Everything." Technically, Bear's intelligence had not increased, but his mind was faster and his memory was absolute. Memory was intelligence, for all intents and purposes, which was why poor Fox got no respect for his brilliance. Well. That and his fondness for the cute and fluffy.

"Dreams are different. More full. And I'm less stupid in them."

"How less stupid?" said Che.

"About as smart as I was before the operation."

"So, we're all not as smart as you in your sleep?" Che grinned.

"I didn't mean that," said Bear, "Anyway, anyone can get it done."

"Yet, for some reason, they're not as quick to put their lives in Fox's hands as you are."

"It is a potentially fatal operation."

"I do believe you've just become even more incomprehensible." Che turned back to the screen and dropped the matter with an almost audible thump. "Hm. Seems my parents are convinced I'm going to die out here and are having another child to replace me."

If Bear were Che, he'd be rolling his eyes at this. "I'm sure they're not trying to replace you."

"No, they wrote that," Che pointed at the screen, "'to replace you.'"

Bear looked. It did in fact say that.

"Of course, that may be Mumspeak for, 'You've been gone long enough, stop putzing around,'" said Che, "But since she's said that directly in every other mail, I don't know why she'd start putting it in code..."

Kunai stirred.

"...now..."

Che froze. "...if he says 'braaaains' I'm out of here."

"Braaaaains," said Kunai.

They stared.

After a pause entirely lacking head-gnawing action, Che said, "You think you're funny, but you're not."

"That is so totally my line," Kunai's voice, like his appearance, was boyish and unthreatening. He sat up and looked around, scratching at his head. "Man, even your parents are trying to get rid of you?"

"My parents love me very much," said Che, obviously wondering why he was having this conversation, "Mum just happens to be very practical. And she doesn't see me passing on her genes."

Kunai snorted derisively, got himself some tuna fish and began breakfast without apparent regard for his bandages or the recently stitched hole in his middle. Che and Bear watched intently as he ate, until it appeared that, against all logic, nothing was wrong.

Che glanced at Bear. "Are you smiling?"

"No."

"It's hard to tell, what with your lack of mouth and such."

"If it bothers you, you could take me home, and I could get my original body back." A diversion. If you act like things are normal, normal they shall become. Even Bear understood this line of thought, or the idea of it.

"You're free to go home, just not the devices." Che slipped into normality much better than Bear did, even as he watched Kunai out of the corner of his eye. "Besides, no one forced you to design yourself like a Saturday morning cartoon character."

"This from a man who wears spandex."

Apparently reminded, Che removed his tattered t-shirt and ripped it into a new bandanna, all the while peering at Kunai from the far side of the shield. Having put it on and hid his unkempt bangs, he looked much more like his usual imperturbable self. Though, the fluttering of his chest from the rapid-fire beating of his heart was much more apparent without the shirt. With a borrosan you needn't take a pulse; you could just take a look.

"I guess you really aren't a cat," Che said, "Chalk another one up to the super genius."

Kunai stared at him. His gaze was a lot sharper now, even behind sunglasses. The difference between being stared at by a animal and a person.

"You flashed a light in my eyes. My eyes are sensitive. It hurt."

"Yes, well. That's why I did it," Che smiled nervously. "I did say I was sorry."

The boy's expression did not change.

"Is your name Kunai?"

He nodded. "I'm named after this." Out of nowhere, he pulled out and displayed a long, sharp object.

"Oh, a knife." Che's expression, while still smiling, had the impression he'd gotten whiff of something nasty. "That explains everything."

"It's more of a sort of, um," Kunai made scooping motions. "Trowel. Like, for digging."

"So, you're named after a gardening implement?" A disbelieving look. "I would expect ninja to have names like Cut or Slash. Only, you know, foreign, so ... Sarashu."

"I'm pretty sure Sara isn't a ninja name."

Che narrowed his eyes at this. Incredulity, perhaps that was the expression. "Nonetheless, a decidedly pointy object that could be used to hurt people."

"Well, sure," Kunai tilted his head, questioning the ceiling. "You can kill with just about anything."

"You would know."

Kunai bristled. "Thief."

"Assassin."

Bear turned his attention from setting Wrist back to normal. "Behave."

"It's not too late to leave him on the curb in a big cardboard box." said Che.

"You're the one that ought to leave," said Kunai, advancing.

"I am not the one wearing the coat of blood."

"You can have it!" Kunai shrugged it off and shoved it into Che's arms. Che nearly doubled over from the sudden weight of it. Although it made no noise when he turned it inside out, one couldn't help but imagine the slippery metallic noise of a sword being unsheathed.

"LOOK at this!" With some awkwardness, Che lifted the coat up for better viewing. "There must be hundreds of weapons here!"

Kunai crossed his arms and sank into his shoulders. Without the jacket he looked much more like a ninja, draped in pure shadow: black gloves, black pants, black tank top, some dark, gauzy material covering his arms and distorting his outline. "Well, I don't need it anymore."

Che dropped the jacket on to the table. "It begs the question of why you needed it in the first place."

Kunai's head sank deeper into his chest--or perhaps that was his shoulders bristling. "I'm reformed, you're still a criminal."

"Everything I've stolen can be returned, assassin."

"Ex-assassin," Kunai had compressed too far and now exploded outwards with upraised arms. "At least Bear wants me around."

"Bear is kind to a fault. I'm not going to make that mistake." Che snapped a piece of taffy and chewed it angrily. "You people can't be trusted."

That brought a nasty silence.

Kunai turned and pointed. "Bear, Che's calling me 'you people.'"

It was surprising he had stayed out of it for this long. Bear started up the engines. "Che, don't act like Kunai's different people from you."

Che raised his arms expansively. "But he is! We're not even the same species."

Bear gave him the Look. "Do you want me to call you 'you people?'"

"Well, no."

"Then behave."

The two glared at each other.

"Bear, his kitty breath is making me ill."

"Beeear, watching Che eat is giving me diabetes!"

Bear waddled out. "Stop it, or I'll eat cheese at the both of you."

"Yuck!"

"Gross, Bear!"

At least there was one thing they could agree on, even if it was just lactose intolerance.

Suk Klohe stared at the computer for a long time. Even Alers didn't dare disturb him.

On the screen was an old news item. Bear looked very different here; a tall, overweight grizzly in a lab coat. He had scars running over one eye, although the eye itself was intact and glaring at the camera. The headline read, "'Don't Bother Me' Says Prize-Winning Inventor" and, beneath the photo, "Inventor of the Year, Bear Schwartzsfend, vocally refuses comment." The story was run directly after the creation of the multinet and detailed how Bear's admirers had caused him to install a new security system. Rather than trying to keep people out, the main door chuted unwanted visitors around the building and out the back door. Lines had formed, and it was especially liked by children.

He moved on to the next item; a much younger Bear standing with a fellow student. Still the same stare, the same coat, the same unidentifiable and ominous mechanical bits bulging from his pockets. His friend with the arm around him and the cheery pose dressed much the same, but with his coat cinched at the waist like a robe. A casual snapshot of a couple of youths, unknown and unknowing.

Although he was most famous for the multinet, this was the moment that had made him a genius. Rather, the moment he made himself a genius. Without this, none of his other accomplishments were possible, yet most of the masses who knew his name knew nothing of it.

Suk Klohe stared at the words without reading them. There was some larger meaning here, something about pure will or brute drive or epiphany. It was easier, somehow, to ask why something existed when you thought you might never know the answer. The answer here was that Bear was a genius because he had decided to make it so.

It made no sense to him. Not before and not now.

Eventually, he abandoned the terminal as a waste of time. His students returned, unsure what to say.

One of them finally broke the silence.

"So, um," He coughed. "Do we still get college credit for this?"

Kunai examined himself in the tall store mirror. It was the first time he had looked at himself with recognition in a long time. He looked just the same; a white-faced boy with spiky hair and hidden eyes. Only his coat color had changed.

After Bear had left, he and Che glared each other down for a long moment. Che should have backed down; from what Kunai knew of his species they had to back down, lest someone get close enough to catch them. Che said Kunai was dangerous and then acted as though he were no threat at all. Eventually, Che ignored him in favor of his dental regimen.

"Why didn't that work?" Kunai said to himself as Bear returned.

"That's what I always wonder."

It was odd, talking to someone he had long known and also just met. Bear was familiar with the wrong him.

"You could rewire the ship, you know. Make it go back, make him give it up."

Bear shrugged. With Kunai's recovery his attitude had returned to the slow and steady. "Maybe it's because I don't deal much with people, but I've always had this idea you should help people change themselves for the better instead of forcing them to conform to your expectations."

It was the longest sentence Kunai had ever heard him speak.

The salesclerk had been intimidated by Kunai's injuries and offset by his appearance, leaving him mostly to himself. He called him back and bartered for the coat.

The ship was still there when he returned. It was foolish of him to think otherwise. Of course, Che was also still there. For a speedster, he never seemed to be in much of a hurry to get anywhere.

He eyed Kunai's new white coat. "Now, that isn't very good for killing people in."

"White is classic. And it matches my hair."

"Must've taken you days to sew all the pockets into your old one."

"Weeks." Kunai sat down next to him. Che was almost easier to talk to than Bear, since there was no point in trying to impress him. "Bear's forgiven you."

"Has he, now?" Still the smile.

"I think so."

"And you?"

"What?" Kunai glanced at him, but his expression hadn't changed.

"You're a ninja robot, I suppose."

"Better than being a pirate."

Well, that did it. "I'm not a pirate! I'm an elegant gentleman thief."

Kunai wrinkled his nose. "There's no difference."

"There's a very large difference."

"You're more annoying than pirates."

"And that takes hard work and dedication." Che's grin widened. He looked genuinely proud of it. "So long as we're speaking for other people, Bear doesn't own you, nor does he want to."

Kunai was dimly aware his hackles were raised again. He was sure they weren't having the same conversation. Well, fine.

"You want to know why I needed all those weapons?" Kunai said, "First, 'cuz I was an assassin. Then 'cuz I was wanted by assassins. Then because I was cursed. But now, I don't need 'em anymore. Old jacket had more patches than original cloth anyway. And I'm sure I'll get used to the new one once it's worn in a bit." He pulled at his collar. Not the cat's collar around his neck; that had disappeared somewhere. The collar of his jacket, which hung open for the first time in a long time, leaving his white neck bare. Kunai took a few deep breaths, forced himself to calm down. "Yeah. It's a load off."

Che didn't respond. Kunai simmered in irritation at the silence. You had to be pretty low for a ninja to have better social skills than you.

Demon Eye Kunai. Even dressed in black and white, his eyes were still bloody. But he didn't need Che of all people pointing that out, especially not in front of Bear.

"Suk Klohe just wanted to meet him, I think."

Kunai was caught off guard by this. Che turned, smiling.

"A lot of people do very stupid things to get close to Bear." He stood and walked away. "Don't do anything stupid, now."